Our surrogacy story in Ukraine

I still remember the exact moment we realized we needed another way to start a family. We had spent so many years trying to become parents that, honestly, we didn’t know how much more we could endure emotionally. We had tried practically everything: treatments, medical consultations, fertility programs , in-vitro fertilizations… Each new attempt began with hope and ended leaving us a little more tired, a little more frustrated, and, above all, more emotionally empty.

There’s a toll that almost no one talks about when a couple struggles with fertility for years. It’s not just physical or financial. It’s mental. It’s a constant feeling of waiting for test results, doctor’s calls, and hopes that are dashed far too quickly. And there comes a point when even conversations between partners begin to revolve solely around it.

We wanted to be parents. That had always been our dream. Something so simple and so essential at the same time.

But for a long time, we felt that the medical process had become too commercialized and too impersonal. That was probably one of the things that hurt us the most during our previous experiences. Sometimes we felt like just another number, another file, another couple going through fertility treatment without anyone truly understanding the emotional toll it took.

And then the possibility of surrogacy appeared.

I remember the first conversations about it perfectly. At first, it wasn’t an immediate decision. There were so many doubts. Legal doubts, ethical doubts, doubts about how an international surrogacy process actually worked, and above all, doubts about whether we would be able to handle something so big emotionally.

From the outside, many people think that surrogacy is simply finding a solution and starting down the path. But when you really investigate, you discover that it’s a complex process, full of important decisions and situations that require a lot of emotional preparation.

That’s when several organizations told us about Gestlife. And honestly, the first thing that reassured us was feeling that someone was taking the time to explain things to us calmly.

All the doubts we had before starting the surrogacy process

I think any couple who says they started the surrogacy process without fear is probably not being entirely honest. We had so many questions. We wanted to understand what the process would be like in Ukraine, what legal safeguards existed, how the medical side worked, what would happen if problems arose, and what the real chances of success were.

And the more questions we asked, the more aware we became of the magnitude of it all.

I remember there were entire days dedicated solely to discussing the topic. There were times when we were convinced and others when the fear resurfaced. Because wanting to become parents is one thing, but embarking on such an emotionally and legally significant international process is quite another.

But something that helped us a lot from the beginning was feeling real support.

Whenever a new question arose, there was someone ready to answer it. And I’m not just talking about technical information. I’m also talking about emotional reassurance. When you embark on a process like this, you need to feel that you’re not alone.

Finally, we decided to go ahead and traveled to Ukraine for the first time.

We will never forget that trip.

There were nerves, excitement, and a strange feeling of taking a huge step without yet knowing how it would all end. There we left our genetic material, and one of the most intense chapters of our lives began.

And, interestingly, also one of the most hopeful.

We were incredibly lucky from the start. The embryos developed successfully, and the surrogate even got pregnant on the first try. When we received that news, we were completely stunned. After so many years of amassed disappointments, it was incredibly difficult for us to allow ourselves to feel joy without fear.

Because when you’ve suffered so much trying to become a parent, you learn to protect yourself emotionally even from the good news.

Experiencing a surrogacy process in Ukraine during a difficult time

Our trial took place in Ukraine in a particularly complicated context for the country. And that made everything feel even more emotionally intense.

Many people asked us if we were not afraid. The answer is yes. Of course we were.

There was concern about the situation in the country, about displacement, about travel, and about everything that could happen during the process. But at the same time, and this is something we will always say, we were deeply impressed by the human and professional capabilities of all the people who accompanied us there.

Sometimes, from the outside, one imagines these processes as something cold, bureaucratic, or distant. Our experience was completely different.

Both the team in our home country and the team in Ukraine were constantly checking on us. And when I say constantly, I mean it literally. There was continuous follow-up, calls, messages, and updates so we knew where everything stood.

That greatly changes a couple’s emotional experience.

Because the uncertainty still exists. The worry is still there. But feeling that someone is there for you makes everything more bearable.

I especially remember the second trip to Kyiv. It was probably one of the hardest moments of the whole process. The situation in the country generated tension, exhaustion, and constant worry. But even in the midst of that very complicated situation, there was always someone helping us, guiding us, or resolving any difficulty that arose.

And the difficulties arise.

They always appear.

No matter how well-organized everything is, an international surrogacy process involves numerous medical, legal, and logistical factors that can change at any moment. That’s why it’s so important to feel supported along the way.

In our case, whenever a problem arose, there was a quick solution or at least someone immediately looking for alternatives. And that, when you’re emotionally exhausted, makes a huge difference.

The day we finally arrived home with our baby

There are moments that completely transform a life. Ours came when we finally held our baby in our arms and understood that it was all real.

After so many years of searching for a way to become parents, we were finally coming home with our daughter.

I remember the return trip as a strange mix of extreme exhaustion and absolute happiness. We were physically and emotionally drained, but at the same time we felt something we hadn’t felt in a very long time: peace.

Our precious baby was sleeping peacefully while we were still trying to process everything we had experienced to get there.

And at that moment you understand that the whole journey has been worth it.

Not because the process was easy. Because it wasn’t.

“In fact, one of the things they told us most often at the beginning was precisely that: that it would be hard, complex, and emotionally demanding. And they were right. But it is also true that human support can completely change the way you experience everything.”

We never felt alone during the process.

There was always someone in our city or in Ukraine willing to help us when a difficulty arose. And that allowed us to focus many times on the only thing that mattered: staying emotionally strong to keep going.

Now, when we look at our daughter , it’s impossible not to get emotional thinking about everything that happened before we had her here with us.

Because she does not only represent the end of a surrogacy process.

It represents years of hope, fear, difficult decisions, failures, and so much love.

What we learned from this whole journey

If someone were to ask us today what is most important before starting an international surrogacy arrangement, we would probably answer that information and emotional support are everything.

It’s important to fully understand the legal process, get to know the country, resolve all medical questions, and prepare for an intense emotional journey. But it’s also crucial to feel supported by people who truly understand what a couple is going through.

Because there will be days of enormous excitement and days of tremendous fear.

There will be times when you feel like everything is moving quickly and others when uncertainty will paralyze you again. And that’s completely normal.

We were fortunate to experience a fairly quick process, considering how complex surrogacy can be. But even so, there were nerves, exhaustion, and emotionally draining moments.

That’s why we fully understand any couple who has doubts before starting.

We had them too.

And we would probably have them again if we had to relive everything from the start.

But we finally also know something else, the feeling of success.

We know what it feels like to arrive home after a very long trip, look at our daughter and think that, after so many years trying to fulfill the dream of being parents, we have finally achieved it.

Today we are a happy family.

And although the journey was much more complex than we initially imagined, it was also a profoundly human experience that we will never forget.